One Step Forward, One Step Back

Yesterday was a great day.  Here are a few of the wins which I consider Step Forward:

• First thing I did in the morning was my quiet time with God - wrote in my prayer journal - did not check my Iphone - it was a success!
• I attended a women's fellowship gathering - our Maui Women Live Out Loud Group.  It was great - a wonderful blessing to belong to a group of wonderful women who loves the Lord and love to have fun as well! 
• Revisited my outline for the Maui Book. Motivated to work on it again
• Did some changes on my online presence. Motivated to monetize my blog again. 

This morning was a Step Backwards.  I tried to tell my self not to turn on the computer and not to look at my Iphone. I failed on both.

So back to square one.  I need two days of doing the right things first in the morning. With the Holy Spirit's help, I can do this.

Until next time :)

Grateful at 50

It's my 50th birthday and this morning I decided to write a post on "Fifty Things I am Thankful For".  I am pretty sure you will find yourself on the list. I wanted to write more (expound each item), to tell stories and reasons on why they/you are important and also to name names but this post will be so long and I am sure I won't be able to post in time, so, for now, this is just the quick list version. I am grateful for:

1. My parents, my Tatay and Nanay
2. My brothers, Joseph and Relly
3. My husband, Bradley
4. My sister in laws, Ate Baby and Gem
5. My children, Gardner and Noelle
6. My nephews and nieces - on both sides including kids of cousins; special mention to Jay-em, Joshua and Eli.
7. My "in-laws in-love” (family from Brad’s side)  Mom, Jeff, Connie, Brynthia and also Holly and Jay
8. My Tito’s and Tita’s on both side of the family
9. My cousins on both side of the family (love all my cousins!)
10. My childhood friends at 491 Apartment
11. My elementary school classmates (Aguinaldo Elem. School)
12. My elementary school teachers
13. My friends in Hagonoy, Bulacan
14. My high school classmates/friends (Quezon City Science High School)
15. My high school teachers
16. My college classmates/friends (UST - the University of Sto. Tomas)
17. My college professors
18. Anthony Co and Abigail Florentino for sharing their faith which in turn made me surrender my life to Jesus.
19. My pastor and boss Dain and Diana; and for Harvest Christian fellowship
20. My radio pastors Chuck Smith, Chuck Swindoll and Greg Laurie 
21. St. Ignatius School and Bella Marie
22. Living on Maui
23. 22 years of Marriage
24. Hope Chapel Maui - my past work (my boss and pastor Craig and the staff and elders), past ohana, and current friends at church
25. Spencer Homes, Joyce and Jesse and everyone there
26. Hanai Family on Maui - Keplers, Nakagawas and Mochizukis
27. Sweet friends at "Maui  Women Live Out Loud” 
28. "Parent" friends (friends who started being friends because of our kids)
29. Out Pets, Sonny, Bob and Gus
30. Good Health - for me and my family
31. Previous employers and friends I met there
32. Current job at Wailea Realty and friends I have there
33. Blogging and peeps who became friends through it
34. Social Media and peeps who became friends through it
35. A beautiful house with a pool
36. Food on the table each day
37. Vacation and Happy memories
38. Technology - my laptop, Iphone, Facebook  etc.
39. Schwabbie Friends - never met them face to face but their help at Schwablearning.com was tremendous.
40. Maui Sunset and sunrise too!
41. Rainbow on Maui
42. Nice and Peaceful Neighborhood; good neighbors
43. Vacations and Memories
44. Music I enjoy listening to and Books I like to read
45. My kid's friends
46. Beautiful flowers that surround us
47. Friends (have I mentioned friends already? :) )
48. My Car, and Brad and Kids cars as well
49. Missionaries and Ministry Workers around the world
50. Last but not the least … in fact the most important of all - Grateful to God for giving me life …. and its a beautiful life.

Call It Grace

• It's the light that pierces through you
  To the darkest hidden place
  It knows your deepest secrets
  But it never looks away
  It's the gentle hand that pulls you
  From the judgment of the crowd
  When you stand before them guilty
  And you've got no way out
  
  (chorus)
  Some may call it foolish and impossible
  But for every heart it rescues it's a miracle
  It's nothing less than scandalous
  This love that took our place
  Just call it what it is
  Call it grace
  Call it grace
  
  It's the breath that's breathing new life
  Into what we thought was dead
  It's the favor that takes orphans
  Placing crowns upon their heads
  It's the hope for our tomorrows
  The rock on which we stand
  It's a strong and mighty fortress
  Even hell can't stand against
  
  (chorus)
  Some may call it foolish and impossible
  But for every heart it rescues it's a miracle
  It's nothing less than scandalous
  This love that took our place
  Just call it what it is
  Call it grace
  Call it grace
  Call it grace
  
  Amazing, Unshaking
  This is grace, this is grace
  Unchanging, Unfailing
  This is grace, this is grace
  
  (chorus)
  Some may call it foolish and impossible
  But for every heart it rescues it's a miracle
  It's nothing less than scandalous
  This love that took our place
  Just call it what it is
  Call it grace
  
  Publishing: © 2013 Centricity Music Publishing (ASCAP) / CentricSongs & 2 Hour Songs (SESAC) / Integrity's Alleluia! Music / Farren Love and War (SESAC)
  
  Writer(s): Words and Music by Jon Lowry, Chad Mattson, Seth Mosley, Michael Farren

Marriage and Forgiveness

Brad and I's relationship is a classic example of "opposites attract".  It's a great binding force that provides strength, confidence and security when we are together, but it is also hard work.  "Conflict Resolution" is a skill we had to learn and master in order for our relationship to survive. And we are continually learning. It never ends.

We have grown through the years.  This year, in October,  we will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary.  23 years ...

Our marriage is well at this time, but in no way it's perfect. Two imperfect people simply cannot have a perfect marriage.  There no such thing as perfect marriage. But there is such a thing as perfect love. And that perfect love, which only comes from God, is the foundation on which our marriage is built.

Yesterday, our day started out great.  But just before Brad leave for his work, I asked something and the "slightly sarcastic" reply he gave me pushed a hot button (or a raw nerve) that I actually screamed back at him. Whoah! Where did that scream come from? I knew I shouldn't be screaming. It was an inappropriate response.  My scream irritated him and he said something, which in turn made me scream louder. Whoa again! It was bad. With a very stern face and voice he told me not to scream at him.  Then he left for work. I calmed down. By the time he came back to work late at night, we are back to normal conversation.

Are we ever going to discuss what happened at that time before he left Costco? We should. But I don't know if we will.  On Tuesday will be the last of the 4 week "class" on marriage we are attending at Hope Chapel with Karen and Joe.  We will miss it because Brad is going to have a surgery that day to remove the lipoma on his chest.

23 years.  Our marriage is an adventure for sure.  Lots of ups and downs.  If someone asks me what is the key ingredient for us to make it this far, I would say there are many, but one of the most important ingredient is FORGIVENESS.  

No Regrets

One of the most memorable  Celebration of Life I attended was that of Jason Spence.  Jason is a good friend and our teaching pastor at Hope Chapel. He suddenly died a day after Thanksgiving in 2013.  I still can remember how the news came to us as a shock. He died peacefully.  I think it was about a week (or less) that the celebration of life was held. There his wife Toni Spence spoke about "NO REGRETS". She said they are a family of no regrets. Even though Jason's death is so sudden, he lived a full life, according to God's calling in his life,  and there was no regret.  Their family love each other and spent time together - there again is "no regrets".... those two words left a mark on me ad we left Hope Chapel that day.  In my own life I wondered if I can say that ... if my family can say that ....

Would there be many "what if's" and "I should have's" or "we should have's" in my life if I suddenly die? I hoped not, and decided not to let that happen.  I desire to live my life to the fullest, to live a life according to my calling.  There might be some unfulfilled dream, unfinished tasks, but if my time comes I hope there will be "no regrets".

Trust In You - by Lauren Daigle

Trust In You  - by Lauren Daigle 

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet 

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

I’ve tried to win this war I confess

My hands are weary I need Your rest

Mighty Warrior, King of the fight

No matter what I face, You’re by my side

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings 

There’s not a day ahead You have not seen

So, in all things be my life and breath

I want what You want Lord and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

You are my strength and comfort

You are my steady hand

You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand

Your ways are always higher

Your plans are always good

There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!

I will trust in You!

One Man's Blog Can Make You Cry ...

I ran the "Day Of Hope" Run this morning. I ran for friends I know who are dealing with cancer right now.  After the ran, I visited their Facebook Timeline to see how they are doing. One f them had posted about Joey.  At first I had no clue who she is, but when I kept on following the links I found out she's a famous Country Music Singer and she's afflicted with cancer. I again followed some of the links and ended up on their blog called This Life I Live

I am sitting here bawling my eyes out.  Every post I read, tears come streaming down on my face.  It's  not tears of sadness and it's not tears of joy either.  I think it is tears of being in awe of the kind of faith Joey and Rory has.

I am thankful that they decided to blog about their life.  What a great testimony of faith.  What an inspiration.  What a great encouragement. What a story! This video had me crying. Maybe it won't affect you as much as it affected me. But when I watched and listened to this after reading several of their posts about her cancer ... I just couldn't help but cry ...

I can go on and on about talking about their blog but I think it's better if you'd go there yourself. GO to This Life I Live and read some of the recents posts .. and it will make you want to read all of the previous posts.  June 2014 is the month they found out Joey had Stage 4 Cancer.  Read June 2014, them read some more ....

And Joey's prayer?  See her and her prayer on this image:

I think of that lady of decided to end her life early when she found out she had terminal cancer.  She said she wanted to die with dignity.  I look at Joey's life right now .... going through every stage of cancer.... now in the hospice care ... and I can say ... there is so much dignity in that  .... in fact it is more than dignity .... it's a life so inspiring ... so selflessly inspiring....

I absolutely love Joey's prayer:

Pray for a Miracle ...

and even more so,

for peace with His decision

To Tell You My Story Is To Tell Of Him

Yesterday after I posted and shared about the story of our reduced income and what we are doing about it, doubt and accusation started creeping in (my own).  A mental debate went in my mind.  Was it right for me to be sharing what's going on with our family on this world wide web?  Well, I wasn't sharing everything. It's a minuscule of what's going on with our family. Nevertheless, however little, I shared, and I made myself vulnerable. As the mental debate heated up and the accusations from the enemy started getting intense ... a still small voice reminded me of what I was actually doing ...  I was telling my story ... to tell of Him ... of His kindness, and goodness, in all circumstances ...

Sure we are in a difficult situation right now, but we still are blessed.  My story is not perfect, but it is my story. It is the story of how God works in my life ... and that I am happy to share.

There is a song that sum this up:

Doubly Good To You By Amy Grant

If you see the moon
Rising gently on your fields
If the wind blows softly on your face
If the sunset lingers
While the cathedral bells peal
And the moon has risen to her place

You can thank the Father
For the things he has done
Thank Him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you

If you look in the mirror
At the end of a hard day
And you know in your heart you have not lied
If you gave love freely
If you earned an honest wage
And if you've got Jesus by your side

You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you

You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you

You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you

It was a tough day today. I made a mistake at work and it was a huge mistake. I still couldn't shake it off. I know people make mistake but I just wish I didn't that dumb mistake I made today.  Anyway, I guess I am blogging to release the "pain" ... 

I went to Facebook and searched for the prayer  I posted a few days ago for my kids. I think I need to pray that one for me:

"Praying for my teens to have resiliency, faith, grit, peace and joy, as they go through life's ups and downs... because this world is not an easy world to Iive in... (I know it's also a wonderful world, but you know what I mean ...)"

Some days I am fine, other days I feel overwhelmed.  As always I have to remind myself to deal with life one day at a time ...

The truth is there are so many blessings despite the hardships and disappointments we face. The truth is I still have so many things to be thankful for despite the challenges we are facing.

Ok time to live out and apply what I know ...  a hui hou!

Be Strong and Courageous

Back to blogging again.  The journal kind blogging.  These past few weeks had been  "faith building weeks". Financial challenges on the horizon.  God's direction is needed. Trust is inevitable. Faith is a must.  I saw this "poster" above going around the internet and I know that message is for me. Well, it's for many of us, but I am personalizing it because this encouraged me.

It's Sunday evening. This weekend went by so fast. I did have a lot accomplished, but there is still a lot more to be done.  As I start another week, I must remember God's sweet encouragement and promise:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Quiet Time ... Random Stuff That's On My Mind ....

I woke up at 4am; got out of bed at 4:45ish with the intent of having a Quiet Time.  Quiet time as in reading the Bible, meditating on God's Word, writing on my personal journal (which is basically my love letters to God) and listening .... listening to God's soft voice .... instructing and guiding me on what I should do next ....

Why is it so hard for us to settle down and be quite?  As soon as I got up I noticed about 50 things I need(ed) to do this morning (or that "I thought" I needed to do, but "needed"? nah, it could have waited). For example, I had to  put down all chairs that I had out last night because I ran our rumba so our floors will be clean. I really didn't have to - we have other places for me to do my "quiet time" without putting these chairs down ...  Then there's the cat who wanted my attention; then there's the load of laundry that needed to be transferred from washer to dryer; then there's those 3 baskets full of clean clothes that needs to be folded, then I realized I need to make chai tea for myself, then I "needed" to check Facebook, and email.... and before I know it, it is 5:15 and I still have not had my quite time.  And so I resorted to writing this blog post - sort of a reflection .... sort of a free flowing thing to get what's on my mind out of my mind into something I can read and reflect upon.

Life is good. I am grateful. My life is not perfect in any means but it's a comfortable life - I can't complain. If or when I start listing in my mind the people and things I am blessed with, gratitude fills my being.

It is almost 6AM; part of my is thinking I should really be folding those clean clothes before they become too wrinkly; part of me is saying .... slow down ... first things first ... weren't you (that's me) supposed to do your quite time this morning?

Quiet time? Oh yeah... thanks for reminding me.

How Can It Be - Video and Lyrics

"How Can It Be" was written by Ingram, Jason / Mabury, Paul / Johnson, Jeff. 

I am guilty

Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become
These hands are dirty
I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You brake my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be

I've been hiding
Afraid I've let you down, inside I doubt
That You still love me
But in Your eyes there's only grace now

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You brake my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be

Though I fall, You can make me new
From this death I will rise with You
Oh the grace reaching out for me
How can it be
How can it be

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You brake my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free

You plead my cause
You right my wrongs
You brake my chains
You overcome
You gave Your life
To give me mine
You say that I am free
How can it be
How can it be

Songwriters
INGRAM, JASON / MABURY, PAUL / JOHNSON, JEFF

Published by
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, MUSIC SERVICES, INC.

Read more:  Lauren Daigle - How Can It Be Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Praise you in This Storm By Casting Crowns (and more)

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

[Chorus x2]

Your Grace Finds Me - Matt Redman - Video and Lyrics

 [VERSE 1:]

It’s there in the newborn cry
There in the light of every sunrise
There in the shadows of this life
Your great grace
 It’s there on the mountain top

There in the everyday and the mundane
There in the sorrow and the dancing
Your great grace Oh such grace

 [CHORUS:]
From the creation to the cross
There from the cross into eternity
Your grace finds me, yes your grace finds me

 [VERSE 2:] It’s there on a wedding day
There in the weeping by the graveside
There in the very breath we breathe
Your great grace
The same for the rich and poor
The same for the saint and for the sinner
Enough for this whole wide world
Your great grace
Oh such grace

[CHORUS]

[CHORUS 2:]

There in the darkest night of the soul
There in the sweetest songs of victory
Your grace finds me
Yes your grace finds me
 Your great grace
Oh such grace
Your great grace
Oh such grace

 [BRIDGE:]
 So I’m breathing in Your grace And breathing out Your praise I’m breathing in Your grace Forever I’ll be [BRIDGE 2X] [ENDING:] Your grace finds me Yes Your grace finds me

Lord, I Need You ...

Lord, I come, I confess...

Bowing here I find my rest

Without You I fall apart...

You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You..

Every hour I need You..

 My one defense, my righteousness ---

Oh God, how I need You.

 

Oceans by Hillsong - video and lyrics

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Spending Time With God

Francis Chan, in one of his videos I watched, said that the most important thing is his life is spending that time alone with God, reading His Words in the Bible, then praying, listening to what God has to say through prayers.  I agree with Francis.  That is indeed the most important things to me. However, so many times my action does not reflect my belief.  I do believe that the most important thing for me to do daily is to find a quiet place and spend time alone with God, and yet I don't do it on a daily basis.  I can try to  justify by saying that I pray all throughout the day, in my mind, but that's bogus.  Seriously, I need to carve a time, schedule an appointment, schedule that important meeting with God and myself, daily.  That's where my strength and wisdom will come from....

Bringing Every Thoughts Captive To The Obedience Of Christ

This past couple weeks I had been doing some "spiritual spring cleaning".  I have done a lot of scrubbing and I think some (or most) of the painful parts of cleaning is over.  At least for now. We all know that cleaning is a never ending "chore", and so I must maintain the cleanliness, and someday I will once again have to do some deep cleaning as I had been doing this past weeks.

What helped me is this spiritual spring cleaning thing is the verse in the Bible that says:

Casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  - 2 Cor. 10:5 KJV

Most of the spiritual battles I have are fought inside my head (and my heart).   They start as small thoughts ... then a conversation between two voices inside my head.  Please do not think I am schizophrenic, I am  not.  But the "two voices" is how I can best describe the thing that goes on in my head. The only was to win is to bring my thoughts to the obedience of Christ. I did and I won.

Two "issues" I was able to deal this past couple of weeks were "Pride and Envy". These are tough ones to deal with because they are very subtle when they come in. They sneak in the back door. They pretend they are "with us and for us" and yet they come to destroy us. These two are not obvious in my life. None or only few of my family and friends will say I have issues with pride and envy.  These nasty     issues are imbedded in the heart where no one else sees, and only comes visible when exposed by the true light.  These "pride and envy" are dangerous enemies in our spiritual battles and the only way to win is to fully arm ourselves with the Grace of God.

I was planning to write details of this battle that went on my mind, but I think I need to go back to bed and get some sleep.  In the meantime, here is a link to an article about envy that I really like.  It comes from the website "Desiring God" which is now one of my favorite websites to go to and read.  John Piper's writings are truly inspirational.

OK, here's the link:

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/envy-hunts-in-a-pack

A hui hou!

Must Remember ...

"If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone."
~ C.S. Lewis; Mere Christianity