Sunday, December 17, 2017

One Step Forward, One Step Back

Yesterday was a great day.  Here are a few of the wins which I consider Step Forward:

  • First thing I did in the morning was my quiet time with God - wrote in my prayer journal - did not check my Iphone - it was a success!
  • I attended a women's fellowship gathering - our Maui Women Live Out Loud Group.  It was great - a wonderful blessing to belong to a group of wonderful women who loves the Lord and love to have fun as well! 
  • Revisited my outline for the Maui Book. Motivated to work on it again
  • Did some changes on my online presence. Motivated to monetize my blog again. 
This morning was a Step Backwards.  I tried to tell my self not to turn on the computer and not to look at my Iphone. I failed on both.

So back to square one.  I need two days of doing the right things first in the morning. With the Holy Spirit's help, I can do this.

Until next time :)

Friday, December 15, 2017

Confession and Accountability

How many times have I told myself that I won't turn on the laptop and won't look at my phone until after I did my quite time and meditation? Plenty! Plenty of times! And how many times have I failed to do what I said I was going to do? Plenty! Plenty of times! Gah!  It's one of those I know what I should do but I am not doing it.  There is a reason why I am successful in my career in social media on Maui - because I love doing it - I love connecting with people who love Maui.  I also genuinely love connecting with family and friends.  And yes, the tools I use to strengthen these connections are social medial tools such as Facebook, Instagram and even SnapChat.  However, lately I am realizing that I need to re-organize my daily routine to maximize my achievement. And by achievement I mean to accomplish the things that are uber important to me.  It's about time to make a change. New Year 2018 is coming. That the year I will make this happen. So starting tomorrow, no laptop, no phone early in the morning.  Grab the Bible, write on my low-tech journal (as in write with a pen) and also write that book that I had been saying I will publish (even just a short section at a time).  After I have done those, then I can go online. Sounds goo? Sounds good to me.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

No Gifts, No Guilt

Photo is from one of those Facebook Christmas Pages

One of my favorite "Marketing Mentor", Seth Godin, said that his favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because it's a "no gifts, no guilt" holiday.  I perceive it as him saying that Christmas is a holiday where there is so much pressure about gift giving, that it creates guilt when you don't give.  This kind of thinking, in my opinion, is sad, but not uncommon. I myself is guilty of feeling guilty when I couldn't give gifts to the people I'd love to give gifts to, and people who gives me gifts.  People gets stressed on Christmas Season.  While it's supposed to be a holiday filled with love and laughter, it's become a holiday filled with stress, anxiety and guilt.

It is up to us to make our own Christmas celebration right and true to what we think and believe it is about.

Last night I started listening to Christmas music on Youtube while I am folding laundry, and I found myself singing out loud and dancing. It was hilarious. But no one saw and it doesn't matter. I was singing and dancing because I loved it.  It gave me so much joy.  Singing Christmas songs gives me so much joy!

So I think I'd be doing that again tonight. Sing and dance  Christmas.

The gift has already been given. It's the gift of  "John 3:16". The guilt has already been taken away.

In this world where there is so much sadness, sorrows, anxiety and stress,  Christmas is the time of the year when we can pause, and feel peace, love and pure joy.  Not feeling it yet? Sing along with me. Let's start with Moriah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" That always gets me going.  Just sayin'.

No gifts, no guilt. Just singin' and dancin'.  Bring back the Christmas JOY.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Just Write

Today is Tatay and Nanay's Wedding Anniversary.  Growing up, it's our family tradition to go out on a "nice" dinner as a family to celebrate this special occasion.  After dinner, we go to COD to watch the  Christmas Show.  Dec. 1 is not only an anniversary ... it's also the start of the Christmas celebration with the Estrellas' at 491-D :)  This is the day when we put our Christmas Tree up.  Oh I love reminiscing these fun memories ...

JUST WRITE.   That's my title for this post because I am coaching myself to just write .... write even if sometimes I don't feel like to (which is not really "I don't feel like to" but more of "I think I have other important things to do than write on my online journal" .... Ahhhh, just write. And so I did.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Because Journaling Is Good For The Soul

Yesterday I discovered that a friend of mine also re-started her blog and writing journal entries of  musings and reflection.  I enjoyed reading her blog because it's written in the same way I write here.  She talked about how she sometimes (or most of the time) overanalyze a situation. I am so the same.  And  journaling via blog helps me in processing my thoughts and dissecting my feelings.  I messaged her telling her that I found her blog. I encouraged her to keep on writing  on her blog  because "writing is good for the soul". ... "journaling is good for the soul".

Yesterday I also discovered a Facebook Page called Button Poetry and it sparked my love for Poetry. I think I might start writing poems again... 

Checked back on the Bucket List I wrote in 2012 and a lot has not been fulfilled. I think I need to be more proactive about fulfilling them.  

With my husband's retirement from his job at the Maui County, we are going through transitions. Praying all will go well, and all will even be better ...

And my book ... oh the book that I am supposed to write.  Nope, not done yet.  I really need to set aside a time to do it.  I also need to let go of  trying to make it a perfect book because it will never be perfect.  I need to remind myself to write according to my writing style.  People follow my blog and social media posting because of my style ... I just have to remain true to my voice and the writing will be easier and I'd be able to finish that book.

a hui hou

Friday, November 24, 2017

Vulnerability, Overshare and Overthinking

The other day I shared about my "stress hive".  Yesterday I talked to my friend/doctor and he told me it's not. He said its a viral thing.  Maybe it is, maybe it's not .... but I stand with my self diagnosis that it is  (i know, Google and I are not doctors, but ;) ).  There are many things I am sorting out in my life and I think that's causing a "stir" in my system.  Anyway, I am glad the hives are gone because it was not fun having it.

So now, let's catch up on where we've left off ....  

Kids Insurance. Answered Prayers.  We figured out what we are going to do and they are covered.

Maui Monopoly. The event was successful.  I was exhausted and my energy was drained after. Then this feeling "I didn't do as much as I should have done" came upon me. I started thinking of the things I could have done better, and I was hard on myself. Then there was also an anxiety felt when I heard of the talk about making it an annual event.  After a couple of days dealing with that anxiety, and I had the courage to express myself and just be honest that fundraising is not my calling.  I was honest. I made myself vulnerable. In the end it worked out fine.

On a more positive note, my son was accepted at the Animation school he applied for and he is going to L.A. in January. We're pretty excited!  I will most likely share more about this on another entry but I just want to mention it here for now.

And one more great news, I found my Bible that I thought I lost.

Now on a different story ...

I shared at the Thanksgiving Eve at church.   It was a "sensitive" topic for me.  I practiced in my head what I was going to say and its all good.  But when I stood up on the stage, there was a phrase that came out of my mouth that should not have ... and after that I was bummed.  Thus my title "Vulnerability, Overshare and Overthinking".   You see, the point of my sharing is to give Thanks to God for being a personal God. It's a testimony of how He is always with us no matter what we go through.  I wanted to share a certain struggle I had 12 years ago that will make that point.  What I am supposed to say was " 12 years ago, a situation happened at church that I felt hurt and insecure. It was a complicated situation and it wasn't intended to hurt me, but I felt hurt".  Well.... on the stage, I simply said "(12 years ago, "name of church" hurt me, emotionally ..." Duh! After the sharing I felt bad. That was an overshare.  Sure I emphasized the fact that God has a plan, that we all make mistakes, nobody is perfect, but still I was bothered by that phrase. It's an old story. I should not have mentioned it. It can be misinterpreted. I started this back and forth dialogue in my head:  "it's ok, let it go - to what can I do - what should I do to make it right? etc. etc."  The thing is, it's done. Probably nobody ever remembered what I said; but what if somebody does, and misinterpret what I meant. Oh well, let go and let God handle this. 

Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving with our friends.  We hosted it at home.  On Thanksgiving, we have this "tradition" that at the night of Thanksgiving we would put our Christmas Tree up and decorate it with our friends.  Yesterday I told my husband that I wasn't ready for the Christmas  Tree to be up.  I simply don't want to do the "tradition".  Long story short, we did it anyway, and I am glad we did.  However, it makes me wonder what exactly was my reason why felt like I didn't want to do it.  It's hard to explain.  I can "feel" it on my body ...  in my mind I know why I didn't want to do it, but there are no words to describe why.  I guess I can  "blame" it on the "Introvert Me".  I am still recovering from using all my "social powers" in CT, my social me is depleted.  Friends at "Quiet Revolution"  would understand what I was going through  but my husband who is an extrovert won't.  Maybe I am just missing my daughter and my family in the Philippines and that's my way of  fighting it or indirectly expressing it. I don't know. But our friends are pretty cool so it turned out fine and I am glad that now our Christmas tree is decorated. 

The thing is, now I am feeling kind guilty for making that situation a bit awkward.  Because I that morning I told them I don't want to do it, then in the end I agreed to do it. I felt I had put a "damper" of the situation.  I hate being the "melancholic" one.  I wish I can be this "enthusiastic" and "fun" person instead of this person who other people might be "walking on eggs shells" around.  Oh yes, I am overthinking this too.  It went fine. Liza, stop overanalyzing.

OK. I think this is it for now.   I woke up at 3am today and couldn't go back to sleep so I wrote here. But now I am feeling sleepy, which is a good thing, so I am going back to bed.