* I changed my original scribbling that I posted a couple of hours ago. It sounded negative as I was recalling the many things that went wrong in our wedding. I decided to just re-post this one because I need to preach to myself (original post found here)
Last night we attended a wedding reception. It's a Maui reception of a our dear friend Mikey and her lovely wife Shae. They got married in Oregon, and here on Maui for their honeymoon. Since they have tons of friends here, we had a Maui wedding reception. We've known Mikey since he was a tiny little kid we've seen him grown into a wonderful man of God. I was a bit teary eyed watching their slide show. It's amazing how time flies fast.
There was an open "mic" during the reception, open for greeting, encouragement and advice to the couple. I love giving advice and encouragement to young couples. And speaking in front of a large crowd does not intimidate me. But last night, I held back. Maybe it's because I was trying to be considerate and let others do the "talking", others who are closer to the couple than I am.
And so I was thinking, what would have I said had I stood out there and grab the microphone to speak to the new and young couple? Last night, my thoughts were these:
M and S, if there are two words that I want you to learn and remember tonight in relations to your marriage, I'd say this. Remember the words: conflict resolution. I don't want to be negative, but I want to be realistic - there will come a time in your marriage when you will face a conflict - and what will make the difference is your ability to resolve a conflict. When conflict arises, remember that God is bigger than the conflict and the 3 of you can resolve it. Learn the art of finding a "win win" solution every time there's a conflict. Commit to each other that when a major conflict arise - not one of you will quit or run away from the conflict. Instead, you will put every ounce of your energy resolving it. Learn "not to sweat the small stuff" so learn to resolve small conflict easily. But know that when harder, bigger conflicts arise - it's is good to find a wise counselor to help out.
Now, as I am reading the above paragraph, it's probably good that I did not stand out there and say this in an open mic. It sounds a little bit negative, they might get intimidated . Maybe I should just write them a note after I "clean up" that unsolicited advice.
For more scribblings on wedding, go to Sunday Scribbling.