Wednesday, April 10, 2013

My First Hana Retreat .... Back in 2009


I live on Maui, one of the most beautiful places in on earth.  That alone should make me happy all day, each and everyday, right?  rrrright..... But in reality, it's not the case. It's not that simple.  "Living" whether you are on Maui, or any parts of the world, means responsibility.  It does not mean play in the ocean all day.  That's why there are such phrases like "work for a living" or "high cost of living" ...  

And speaking of "high cost of living" - that's the price we pay for living on Maui.  For many of us, it's a choice we made....

About a month ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with all my responsibilities as a working mom.  By nature I am a very nurturing and introspective person.  I do not have a type A personality. I like laid back living. The more subdued. Yet many times I do function as a type A.  I like getting things done, I enjoy overseeing projects and  accomplishing tasks.  I like being active and socializing and all that.  However, at the end of the day, I always need   to re-charge in quietness and serenity.  If I don't get enough of those quiet moments, I get cranky.

I love being a mom.  I love being a wife.  I love being a homemaker. And if given a chance and opportunity, if we can afford it, I would give up my "work with pay job outside of our home" to be a "full time mom".  But we are not in a position to do that right now ...

The good thing is I have a great job.  I have the job that a working mom would desire.  I have a generous employer who are kind and pays me well. My work time is 9AM to 2PM which give me ample time to drop off my kids to school and pick them up instead of them  using a school bus. I enjoy what I do and I am good at what  I am doing. It's a perfect working situation for a working mom...

All that to say that even though I love what I am doing and I enjoy both worlds, I still had this feeling of being "overwhelmed".  They say "passionate people" are prone to that, and yes, I am passionate about being a mom and about many things I do.

Lately I had noticed that I am not "as nice" as I used to be.  I am a bit more cranky than usual, I get easily offended, negative thoughts enter my mind quickly and I dwell on it longer that just vanishing it away as soon as I feel it.  These were thoughts of envy, jealousy, resentment and sometimes anger.  These were negative thoughts and energies which I didn't want to have or don't want to have ...

I knew it was time for  a retreat but I didn't know when, where and how.  Then the invitation to stay at Hotel Hana Maui came along.  Who would have say "no" to an opportunity to stay on Hotel Hana Maui for a weekend? Definitely not I.

It was supposed to be a "lovers get-away" for my husband and I.  But our dear friends from the mainland came to visit and they scheduled to stay in our house the same time we were scheduled to go to Hana.  These friends are wonderful friends close to us so it was a bit of a dilemma on what to do.  After discussing, my husband decided he would stay at home in Kihei, while I go to Hana for the weekend.

At first it seems that it was wrong for my husband to stay and let me go by myself.  But actually, it's a blessing in disguise. I really needed a time alone.  I wanted a quite time to be able to reflect.  It's what that title of this post is all about. That "sometimes we have to step back to move forward"....

It's Sunday morning right now, my last day here at Hotel Hana Maui.  I had a very relaxing time here on Hana.  I had enough time to think, to reflect and to rethink.  This place is awesome.  It truly is heavenly for me.  My stay here affirmed that quietness and reflection is good for the soul.

This afternoon I am going back to Kihei with a great resolve.  I had made plans, I had set some goals, and all these I committed to God to make happen. I feel more positive, energized, I am ready to conquer. I am going back with a greater confidence as a mom, a wife, a friend, an employee and as a person. I had a restful  weekend here on a luxurious Hotel Hana Maui and this is a gift I am so thankful for.  My husband even gave me a gift of "spa lomi lomi massage" (he called me to tell me I should get one, that even though it's a bit expensive I should do it, and I did).

This is just one of the many posts that I would be doing about my staycation and retreat here on Hana.  I wanted to post this to encourage those who are weary and tired to take some time to relax, reflect and rethink.  Remember "sometimes, we need to step back in order to move forward".

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