I came home early from bunco last night but "blogging brain" wasn't tuned in the "bunco station", so even though I wanted to post something about it right away, I didn't. I will post about the February bunco later.
If you've been a reader of this blog for a while, you know that the "story about how I felt abandoned and rejected by some friends at one point in time" is a recurring issue. Letting go of that hurt (and fear of being abandoned again) is something that I continually struggle with and pray for that I will overcome. At first I just want to "deny" my feelings about it. At first I thought, I should say anything about it anymore - like "if I don't talk about it, it will go away". But denial works only temporarily, and if I don't deal with this issue on it's root - this "weed of resentment" that Satan is planting in my heart will grow and take over. And I don't want these weeds to take over. I want flowers in my heart, like daisies.
A few weeks back, I won a book in a give-away draw held at 5 Minutes For Mom. I don't usually win draws so I know something is up when I get one. The book I won is titled "GROWING FRIENDSHIPS" written by Tracy Klehn. You see, when I saw that announcement of that give-away I commented saying "Oh, I hope I win because I NEED that book". Little did I know that God will use this book to answer my prayers about "letting go" of the past and moving on with "creating and growing" friendships.
I am only on Chapter 4 of this book and I have already cried a cupful of tears and sighed a hundred sighs. This book is like one of those doctors who poke me on examination rooms. You know what I mean? You know... it's like when you go in the exam room and the doctor asks you to lay down on the examination table, poke different places your tummy or chest and ask "does it hurt here?" " or does it hurt here (pressing another area)". So as I was reading this book, I could feel this "does it hurt here" poking and I had said "ouch" in so many areas. I had said "ouch" so much, in so many areas, that I know the diagnosis is something like "yep, there's cancer in there, and you need a surgery, a biopsy, a CT scan, and possible a surgery again as well as chemo therapy".
This book "Growing Friendships" is a God sent book, especially for me. I am going to blog more about my journey on reading this book and getting healed. If you like, come and join me. feel free to comment and give me advice as I go along.
This is my entry for Works of God Weekend at A Dusty Frame.