Tuesday, June 5, 2007
In Which I Will Talk About Intimacy in Marriage Once Again...
I was talking to one of my good friends the other day and she confessed to not having any sexual relations to her husband for a month or so ... I tried my best not to appear too shock to what I have heard. A month seems too long in my opinion but I did not say a word. I tried to understand her situation...
And then there's this lady she knew who hasn't had sexual relations with her husband (the lady's husband to make this clear) for more than a year...I think she actually said 2 years. My jaw dropped and I couldn't hide my "disbelief" when I heard it. WHAT????? two years???? It's a miracle that they are still married.
Wives... listen to me: Sex is a man's need. As much as we women needs "tender love" and "affection", men needs a fulfilling sexual relations. Actually, you can probably even take that "fulfilling" out. Husbands need sex - period.
I know I am making myself vulnerable by posting this. But I feel this must be said... many wives must be reminded of the importance of "passion and intimacy" (ok, sex) in marriage (because it does not come natural to us, i know...). I truly hope no pervert would happen to land on this post simply because I used the word sex. God, I pray for your protection. And I also pray that you will use this post to rekindle the passion in some marriages that might be losing it these days. FOR MORE INFO on this subject, Go to Dr. Harley's website (click here) That site contains expert advice on how to improve intimacy in marriage. Go!
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Bill and Pam Farrell do a really great job speaking on this topic. Until I heard them I didn't understand, but they really put it out there to where my husband understood what I needed and I understand what he needs.
i can actually say that my husband and i are one of those rare couples that can survive without having sex for a very long period of time (6 months to a year)
we've been together for 5 years and we're expecting our second child this august. our marriage is actually still great even with the lack of sexual intimacy.
it's not really about us not wanting sex. i work overseas and usually come home once a year so we try to compensate our lack of sexual connection with open communication and trust. we've talked about it and we made a committment to prioritize the needs of the family rather than our own physical desires.
i have a book by stormie omartian, power of the praying wife, and she emphasizes this point too :) come to think of it, there are many religious books about marriage mentioning the importance of making love with the spouse.
very very courageous post you've got here lizz. but it's true, some equal amount of passion and intimacy through sex is but inevitable b/w spouses. :)
I agree with you, but I think it's more complicated then just it appears. People have fears and intimacy issues that date way back before their husbands. I'm not saying that men don't want sex and women don't want their needs met, but it's a tough combo sometimes. Interesting post.
Curious lang po, walang malisyang tanong, ano ba yung healthy sex life ng mag-asawa, I mean how often ba dapat?
Especially when both are working, sometimes you just say "no".
happy working mom, I'll check out Bill and Pams point of view on this. Maybe I'd google them tonight...
mommy ci, I understand when couples are "far away" from each other that sexual relations are "on hold". What I am concern about are couples who sleep in the same house and yet seems "far away" from each other...
ladycess, I have that book bt Stormie too :)
feng, yep, it took some courage to post this. But sometimes I think "married" women shy away from discussing this stuff, while most of the media portray "sex" is such an unrealistic, distorted way... I think wives should be comfortable talking about this... finding ways to grow..
MamaP, I agree, it's more complicated than it appears. That's why I included Dr. Harley's link. he's the expert :) - I'm just voicing my "personal" opinion :) - I guess "the harmony" of meeting each other's need is vital...
mitchteryosa...how often? I don't know the answer. I think it's probably between you and your husband.... I'll review my books and see how much the expert recommends :)...
Thank you all for your replies ....
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