Friday, January 11, 2008

Sunday Scribblings: The Date

Yesterday morning at breakfast I told my husband "You need to take me out on a date". Hubby replied "I do, don't I? Where and when would you like to go?"

Ten years ago, this conversation wouldn't have transpired in our household. I would have been too proud to ask my husband to take me out on a date. In my mind I would be thinking "If he really loves me, HE would ask me out for a date, He would be planning a date. If I ask him that means I force him to take me out and it's not coming from his heart." Then I would "brew" and my husband would not have the slightest idea what he did wrong. That was before. Not anymore.

The truth is, even if I am the one who initiated the "date" by asking him to take me out, that date could be meaningful. And that date surely would help add zest to our marriage. Through the years I have finally learned that if I want something to happen, i should make a way for it to happen, and if I need something, I should ask. That should not be a big deal (but it was for me in the early part of our marriage).

Too many couples nowadays (especially the ones with small kids) just don't have the time to "go out on a date" by themselves. Sometimes it's too much of a hustle - trying to find a babysitting, trying to find time and energy. Sometimes it seems not worth it to spend the extra money and time. But really, it is - it is worth it.

Romance is very important in marriage. Wives need this more than husbands. However, what husbands must realize is that keeping the romance alive in marriage has a payback. They in turn get a passionate wife who will fulfill their need for passion. A tired, worn out wife who's been with kids all day, or who's worked all day outside of the house and tends to her kids when she comes home won't have much energy left for a passionate night. The best that can happen is just fulfilling the "duty" of the wife to attend to the husbands need for "you know what" in a "let's do it and get over with it" manner.

Back to "date night". We have set this Friday night to be our date night. On this night we'll rekindle friendship and romance. Last real date we had was in July. It's time we have another one :)

***

This is a re-post. Since Sunday Scribblings prompt this week is about "the date", I decided to use this previous post as my entry. For more scribblings about "date" visit Sunday Scribblings here.

18 comments:

Katrina said...

What a great post! You're so right--we can't expect our husbands to read minds, and being clear and open about what would make us happy takes a lot of stress off of them!

My husband has definitely learned the connection between a helpful, supportive man and a passionate woman...lol!

Enjoy your date!

Miscellany Mom said...

important to keep the focus between hubby and wife! ;0)

khambagirl said...

No matter how long you are married, it is always good to have 'date night'. Good for you to initiate it!

Redness said...

What a wonderful woman you are - enjoy your date, he's a fortunate man to have you!

gautami tripathy said...

You got it so write. It keeps the romance alive..

Just Jen said...

you are so right!
when my boys were little and we couldn't get out, we would date at home...lol
we would have a picnic in the middle of the night, or sit outside during nap time, write letters, anything to have entire conversations without screaming in the background...lol

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

You definitely deserve a date night out! We went to dinner New Year's Eve and it was lovely.

Couples who are parents, especially, have to remember life before kids!

p.s. you won the RoC skincare giveaway!

keith hillman said...

When I was married we were so busy that we had to make a date just to see each other! Enjoy yours.

tumblewords said...

Sweet and valid thoughts. Enjoy your dates!

The Trier and Jen said...

enjoy yourselves

Jen

Tammy said...

Good for you! It can still be great with a nudge. ;)

Whitesnake said...

I really like this.
Thanks for stopping by my Rainbow blog!

Shari said...

This makes me realize that my husband and I haven't gone out in a while. My kids are just about old enough that I can leave them home for a few hours. I've waited a long time for this.

YETTE said...

hello!

was just dropping by your blog... loved this post. =D my husband would usually say: "where would you like to go?" and I'll go, "Where would YOU like to go?" and he'll say, "But I asked first, so where would you like to go?" And on and on... Fortunately, we always find something to do and places to go. =D

take care and God bless!

forgetfulone said...

I agree. Date night is a must! You can actually remember how come you fell in love when you go on a date together - sans children.

Penelope Anne said...

Excellent post and a good reminder to all of us married couples. Newlywed or long married.
Hope you have a fabulous date night. I told hubby that is what I want for Valentine's this year....we did not do our usual date night during Christmas shopping so I want it for Valentines, and he agreed....like he knew he should ;o)

Penelope Anne
http://wannabeawritersomeday.blogspot.com/2008/01/sunday-scribblings-date.html

Jennifer Hicks said...

yup. I love the reminder to "ask for what you need, and don't expect other's to be mind-readers!".

good post!

bella mocha said...

This is so true! I found it too easy to forget and to stay in 'mommy mode' all the time....now my kids are old enough to be left my husband and I are making sure we get quality time alone, reminding ourselves why we fell in love in the first place. It's so worth it.

This was such a heartwarming SS post. Have a great date together!