I left work early today to bring my mom to the Cardiologist for check up. She's been complaining of chest pains and head ache on and off, Hubby and I decided it's better to just have her checked. Funny, I always get this worried look from medical receptionists whenever I say she does not have an insurance - we'll pay cash (debit card). That would be $200, even more...she mentioned. I assured her that I know and that I am willing to pay....
Mom's blood pressure was very high (180 / 100). It could be that she's just nervous but it still is a concern (When we went to Walmart to pick up the meds, her blood pressure dropped to 149/80). Doctor heard some murmur on the neck. She would need a C-Scan. That will cost about a thousand dollars I was informed (could be more). Doctor suggested I look into any medical insurance that may apply to my parents before she schedules the scan. She was given the medication for the high blood pressure. Blood test next week. Follow up check up in a month.
I kind of snapped at my dad because he kept asking about the 2 prescriptions my mom has. Too worried that she may take too much for too long. Kept asking if I informed the doctor that she's already taking two other pills. "I did! The doctor knows what's she's doing!" I snapped back.
In the meantime, I really need to be on top of my son's upcoming assessment and IEP as well as his day to day activities in school. So far being in the high performing class in math is working out but I know it would need constant monitoring. Frustrations in school have been minimal. How I wish I can volunteer in class like I used to - but I am pressed for time, I do not think I can. And if I volunteer for G's class, I would have to volunteer in N's class. I don't think I can do it. I'd like to but I don't have the time.
On the home front, I still struggle about what to cook on dinner times and I'm always stressed rushing to cook dinner at night. I know.. I should write a weekly menu and prepare in advance. Believe me, I tried but couldn't follow through. Tonight we're having SPAM and Portuguese sausage with rice for dinner. So much for "healthy dinner"....
I had been taking a lot of time off from work, I am not as a "hardworker" as I used to be. I feel bad about it. I still am productive, but not as productive as I used to be. There are moments I thought maybe I should just work part time. But with the added medical expenses, I know that's not a choice.
Good thing hubby is mellow and supportive at this time. If not, I'd snap. Nevertheless, I do not want to take advantage of this. In my mind I always think of ways to be a good wife. He was good allowing my parents to stay with us and spend money on Nanay's medical needs. He's extra patient with Nanay's forgetfulness and misplacing things around the house. I am always watching where things are and putting them back in the right places before hubby looks for them. I always try to be sensitive to his needs for fellowship - a lot of fellowship - despite the limited time I have.
I'm blogging to reflect. I need to remind myself to get a grip. I need to take control, not stress out. So... before I end this post, let me share with you how I plan to deal with this stresses of my life. Let's call this "stress management Liza's Eyeview style":
1. Look back - remember how God delivered me from all kinds of difficulties before. Remember how God rescued me from harm. Look back at the time God provided when I thought we're lacking.
2. Look up - having reminded myself of God's goodness in the past, I should look up and trust God. God is the provider. God is the healer. How do I look up? Worship. Pray. Read the Bible.
3. Look in - I have strength within. God gave us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us to empower us. Therefore I can say "I can do all things through God who strengthens me".