Thursday, January 8, 2009

In Which I Type My Rambling Thoughts ...

I think it's time for a rambling post. My cluttered mind needs it. Woke up again at 3:30 AM and could not go back to sleep. First, I need to make coffee. I'd be back...

Ok, I am back. I found some left over coffee in the pot and just heated it up. It taste junk but I really wanted to continue this post so I will brew a fresh one later.

* Yesterday, in the car, while driving to G's orthodontist, my daughter N asked me "Mom, if you could have 3 wishes come true, what would they be?". I couldn't think of a quick answer. Ugh, why couldn't I think of a quick answer? No, really, if YOU were given a chance to have 3 wishes come true, what would you wish for? Things like lots of money, world peace, everyone will know Jesus comes to mind but really, what 3 things do I really want or wish for?

Realizing that I am stuck and couldn't think of the answer right away, my son G volunteered to give me a wish. I wish that Mom's Blog would make a lot of money so she can stay home with us. Ahhh... my dear son....

Thinking more about what my dear son just said, I probably would revise and say I wish we have a lot of money so I wouldn't even try to think of how my blogs would make money, I can just concentrate of "how to be a great wife and mom"...

* This week I have been "bad" at work. I had been leaving early, earlier than my usual 2PM end time. Kids are still off from school and they are home at 12:20 from camp, so I rush to go home by that time. I did not notify my boss about my undertime, I don't know why. I think I feel guilty about cutting back more hours this week when I already have cut back from being full time to being part-time. And the "working mom" guilt goes on...

* I really have this intense need to spend more quality time with my kids on these Pre-teen years of theirs. I think even more important than Toddler years (which they say is a very important stage). I just know that NOW is the time to develop that bond that would keep the teenage years a little smoother than what it's usually is between parents and their kids.

And I think that's where my anxiety is coming from. I just don't think I am there yet in terms of "equipping" my kids to face the teen years. There's just so much to teach, so much to learn, and without enough time with them, it's hard... I need to learn to "trust God" on this one.

* I have a new "lay-out / design" for A Maui Blog coming up soon. I am very excited about it.

*It's G's brown belt testing for Taekwondo this weekend (Fri and Sat). We are proud he's gone this far. Say a prayer for him to remember everything that he needs to remember for the testing, and that he pass with flying colors.

* I am glad Hubby and N are now both well. They were both sick on the first week of January.

* I miss my family, Tatay and Nanay, and my brothers and their families.

* It's 5:21 AM. I think it's time to brew a fresh coffee and throw this junk one away...

6 comments:

One Woman's Journey said...

3 wishes. Reading through over 25 years of journal entries - they all seem to be the same. A 42 year old striking out on her own.
Health, Wisdom and Gods Will. With my health and the Lords wisdom I felt I could do anything.
So my desires have been simple.
But it has worked for me.

The Farmer Files said...

Love your thoughts on the preteen years.

~*Mistee*~ said...

I love your post! :0)

Heather @ Not a DIY Life said...

What a good son! That would be one of my wishes, for sure. That money wouldn't be a worry and I could just be the mom and wife that I want to be.

And I think that EVERY STAGE is VERY important for kids to have their moms. I really don't think that any stage is any less important than any other in that respect. Kids need their moms. That's how God made us to be. I still need my mom too. I don't ever want to outgrow that!

CK said...

You are always so real. I think that's why yours is the blog I read most often, which, unfortunately, is not often enough.
I wonder if the anxiety/stress thing is inherent to motherhood? These past two weeks I have been focusing on Psalm 94:19 "When my anxious thoughts overwhelm me, Your consolations delight my soul." Like you, I still struggle to find peace, remain calm, let go, and trust God, but having this verse sure seems to help.
Know that I keep you in my heart and prayers even when we go days without talking.
love ya

Jayred said...

Your son's remark would have given me a big pang on the chest if I were his mom. Maybe you felt it...thus, the angst. I'm not sure.

I remember resenting my Mom for not being there for us (physically and emotionally) when we were young till we hit our twenties; she worked, worked, and worked all the time. She wanted to have a career. So we were always at home with live-in maids. (I confessed this to her later on when I was already a Christian. PTL, I was able to forgive her, with God's grace.) Just wanted to share this very personal story with you...for an insight or two on how kids feel in situations like this (I'm sure you know this already).

Having said this, we have different stories to tell; people undergo different situations. But I know one thing: you're a great Mom, Liza. Your intentions are pure.

God will surely -- or maybe, He already has -- guide/guided you in your future decisions.

Take care and God bless.